Tomorrow is six weeks since my surgery and for, like, 95% of the time, I have been inside this house. And I really don’t mind, I don’t — I like it, I mean, I have stuff to do and work and it’s really not bad and I’m not in pain, just stuck here. But it’s January and it’s really cold so going outside sounds pretty miserable which makes staying inside and recovering sound pretty good.
So in this free time, I started reorganizing my music, which I NEVER listen to, because when I work or study I need total silence (or brown noise – http://simplynoise.com/ – like white noise but deeper) but I have time so, what the heck. And I realize I have all these songs, one off songs, weird things that I keep coming across and thinking “why do I have this? When did I buy this.” And then I play them, and they all have this energy in common. This happy, rocking, fun beat energy and I realize, all these one off songs are the songs I used to listen to when I used to run. Before all of this hip crap started and the doctors told me not to and that I might not ever again. And I haven’t run in a really long time so I forgot about the music.
But now, now I remember how much I used to love to run. I don’t know exactly what it is — it’s really hard on your body and, let me tell you, I am not a good runner. I’m not fast, I don’t want to BE fast, but I LOVE that time when I am outside, on my own, with these silly pop songs bouncing through my head as I run to the park or a friends or even to the bowling alley (seriously). I’m not good at it but I like it and it makes me happy. And you know what else, it makes me really happy that I had this surgery because (fingers crossed), these surgeries will mean that I get to run again. And I will never be a good runner but I’ll be out there and I am so excited about that!