I’m trying to figure some witty way to start this blog but really, I can’t think of anything witty.  I’m not one of those people that’s quick on their feet with a sarcastic retort.  I normally don’t realize when people are being sarcastic and I am incredibly gullable.  However, I am exceedingly introspective and have a lot to say about what’s going.

I’m 35 and I feel like my body is giving up on me.

First things first, though.  I am only starting this blog now because I have some potentially serious situations ahead for me, in terms of my hips.  My right and my left hips, not one or the other but maybe both.  Maybe.  Who knows.  Anyway, so I have a ton of stuff on my mind right now and I think that anyone who is my age would have a lot of things going on in their head if they had pain every day and weren’t able to run anymore and were told they might someday need a total hip replacement if they didn’t take it easy — I’m getting ahead of myself.

OK, so I have hip problems.  Maybe.  The facts that I know are as follows:

I had arthroscopic surgery in my right hip in January 2012 to repair a torn labrum.

When the doctor did the surgery, he found that I had moderate dysplasia in my right hip (“not mild, not severe” as I understood, after the fact, that described to my husband and mother).

I recouperated from the surgery and thought I was doing really well.  Then the pain came back.  And now it won’t go away.

My left hip hurts.  Similar to the right but I have no idea why.

I have had MRI’s, X-Rays and CT Scans.  I have been through numerous physical therapy appointments.

I have two herneated discs in my lower back (L5/SI and L4/L5).  The L5/S1 is pressing on the nerve root.  I am never without lower back pain. (I only mention the lower back pain because I am worried what implication any surgery or procedures on my hip would have on my back.  That and the fact that it literally hurts ALL the time — I haven’t been able to sneeze standing up straight in years)

I have appointments to see doctors and I am scared.  And excited.  I am hopeful but worried.  I am pissed off.  ALL at the same time.

I want to believe that I am not alone in this so I am writing this blog and NOT publicizing it but if someone stumbles on it, more power to them.

I will try to keep it updated, as the process unfolds.  I make no promises.  It is selfish to keep a blog – this is my selfish attempt to connect and yet remain unconnected.  I do hope it helps, both me and someone who might read it.

And so it begins.