Shopping, and a little fear

I am 36 days away from the first PAO and I decided to take the plunge and make my first purchase of durable medical equipment.  Yes, I promise, this was as uninteresting as it sounds. 

Following the surgery I need a lot of ‘aids’ to help me around the house and, you know, to move and live and stuff.  These aids include (but are not limited to): a shower seat, a gripper (to pick things up from the floor), a raised toilet seat, a wheelchair or walker and crutches.  I will get my compression stockings (hot!) while in the hospital and will wear them for 3 weeks following surgery.

I have decided to start with a wheelchair after the procedure.  I figure it will be my safest bet in case it is slippery after the surgery.  I really don’t want a situation where I have to walk a long distance or accidentally fall after the surgery.  I may change my mind after I have it and switch it out for a walker.  I am 35 years old and may need to use a walker.  This is so screwed up!

As to the crutches, I have decided to go with the Millenial Crutches.  They are supposed to be better for long-term usage and since I will have to use them at a minimum for 6 weeks after each surgery, and likely longer, I had better find something that I like and am comfortable with.

I don’t know what it is.  Maybe it’s the cold, or the fact that it’s November, but I think I am starting to get a little worried.  I feel like it is something that is or should be happening to someone else, but certainly not to me.  And yet it is.  It just feels weird and sorta creepy.  I really want this all to be behind me.  Partly I just want someone to understand how hard I fear this is going to be.  What if it is TERRIBLE and then, 4 months later, i get to do it again?  What if I can’t get back to my life for so long that things get screwed up.  I am starting to play the ‘what if’ game and it’s rough.  I know I shouldn’t but I can’t stop it. 

I’ve never had a broken bone — I don’t understand.

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